Church today was amazingly enlightening as usual, When I walked out of the sanctuary doors, my mind was filled with various thoughts and emotions. The pastor talked about how we often unintentionally sabotage different areas of our lives by living in a LIE. For instance, something that resonated with me was the message about a father and child. When a father tells a child, they did not want them or either their parents divorce and the child is left with the feelings and thoughts that they were unwanted. The child might receive the parent leaving as a means of not wanting them and as a result, are hurt.
From a personal standpoint, I recognize this and it definitely hits closely to my heart. My father left when I was very young and as years passed by, we attempt to develop a relationship but the outcome was negative. It was not until today that I realized that perhaps the reason some of my personal relationships with men did not work was because I dated men that were not worthy of me and I in turn, felt I was not lovable. As a result of my poor choices in men, I fell into the pattern of being involved with men who hurt me. This provided further confirmation in my mind that I was not worthy of love. This is the “LIE” that my pastor spoke of. Sometimes we as individuals receive and process things incorrectly and as an outcome, we find we are in a place of sabotage. Deep-rooted issues lead to self-sabotaging of relationships, opportunities, growth, change, faith, etc.
When my pastor silenced the room and asked us to close our eyes and think about a time when we misinterpreted an event, I recalled the day my father basically told me he did not want me. When he told me that it was like every man in the world was telling me those words. As an adult woman, I found myself hurt through each and every relationship I encountered and much of that was a result of my choices and walking into the relationship with the expectation that “THE MAN” was going to hurt me. Again, Sabotage often showed its ugly face. Today, I asked God to forgive me for believing the LIE that I was not worthy of being loved by a man. It was not my father’s actions that determined and directed my future relationships with men, that was God and God’s alone; however the LIE in my mind was much louder than the voice of my heavenly father.
Can you relate to this situation? Think about your situation, and ask God to forgive you for receiving that lie and then ask God to show you the truth. This is where I am, what a beautiful recollection, to realize that God loves me and I am indeed lovable contrary to what my father did or said over nearly four decades ago. I always find nuggets in others stories. No one is perfect and we all have our imperfections that we must constantly work to improve. Mine is accepting the absence of my earthly father and recognizing my heavenly father is and always will be there.
Be blessed and know God loves you, if your earthly father is not present in your life, God is and always will be there and he loves and favors you.