Worth more

Daily Journeys - Women of Virtue

By Sonya McKinzie

I am worth more

The credit I am given

Far from a hidden disposition

or indiscretion

I am worth more

What you think I am

And what I know I am

Are unparalleled

Two different point of views

Two different reasons

For being here

Look at me now

Because when I walk away

You won’t see me again

I am worth more

By Ms. Darkskinisbeautiful

Copyright © 2015 by Sonya McKinzie.  All rights reserved. This poem or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review

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Excerpt from new book “Perfectly Imperfect” by Sonya McKinzie

Exclusively and Wholeheartedly

                “I love you and barely even know you,” he whispered. Then how could you love me? I wondered. As clear as the sky was blue, he proved those words untruthful with his actions, which contradicted his poetic “love stories.” During countless conversations, he promised not to lie, hurt, or betray me, but once again he lied. Finally, I promised not to give in to his antics again. By giving in, I would only be setting myself up for brokenness, pain, and disappointment. This recurrent trauma, alongside others, began to tear up my expectations of others.

            Over time, I learned that people are human and flawed. To place faith in a person means gambling with believing that a human will do what he says he will do and trusting that he is a person of his word. After many years of giving a man power over me, my emotions, spirituality, and life overall, I began to realize that it is God who will always have my back. God has never turned away from me nor will he ever. His word has never deceived me. Hebrews 11:6 says, “And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” Here, God shares that we must have faith in him as it pleases him, and to be without it is to turn away from him and his will for our lives.

Dear God, please take me as I am, cleanse me, and mold me to be a vessel for your works. Bowed before your throne, accept me as I am imperfect and spiritually thirsty. Amen.

There Is Nothing Rarer, nor More Beautiful

God Favors you

No one knows your story

personally and intimately like you

All of the agony and wretchedness

that consumes you is not

yours alone

In all that you have suffered

God has and forever will be faithful to you

He delivers and loves you

God loves you

Stop trying to figure out

how the story will end

Place your burdens at the altar

let him have his way

Speak to him

tell him your story

 then ask him what it is that you need him to do

 Once you do that

God will show you favor

and remove all that is not of him

from your life

Ask God for a clear point of view

so that you can see your way through

Be patient and sit still and watchful

and God will bless you

Be faithful. Be silent. Be still.

God will bring you through because God favors you!

Loving versus Being In Love

For many years, the actions of “loving” versus “being in love” has had me stumped. Trying to understand what the differences were has kept me baffled. When I think of love, I have found that it is hard to understand, attain, maintain, and survive without. When you live the single life, you tend to find yourself in deep thought quite often and much of that time spent pondering is interlocked with relationships. Personally, I have grown tired of hearing “ Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”, “When are you getting married?”,  or “You are single, and what is your issue?”. The frequency of those questions have made me wonder “is there something wrong with me?” or perhaps I was not living my life to the fullest which reflected on the result of an extended amount of time that was spent in singleness. The complexities now involved with dating, loving, and being in a relationship has become quite tiresome. It seems that when my mother was younger, relationships were easier or at least they made it appear to be.

I am certain that I am single because God has not sent me the one that I will be “In Love” with for the remainder of my life because I am not yet ready. Living in singleness has not been very difficult but I would have to factor in the fact that I have been working towards my MBA, mothering a child with little support, and working a job requiring much of my time.  Some days have been harder than others and while those days are far few in between, I know that being in love is a part of my destiny. The idea that one I will willing offer to lie my life down for another, give every fiber in me to them, and accept them for what and who they are flaws and all. Connect with them on a spiritual, mental, and physical realm is all a part of being in love. I look forward to that experience one day but in the in between, I am continuing to pursue my call to order from God and that is to work towards serving the community, one person at a time.

Always,

Ms. Darkskinisbeautiful

Perfectly Imperfect a journey from brokenness to…

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There are many, many nights spent sleepless, when I lay with thoughts lingering in my mind; it seems these thoughts are most active in the darkest of the night, when all is quiet and peaceful. I often lay and recollect my past then think about where I started from, its bittersweet because of all I had to go through to transition into who I am today and while there are no regrets, it has been a challenge nonetheless.

If strangers knew my
story, it is likely that they would be surprised to know of the twists and turns I experienced along my path. While there are no stories of extreme tragedy there are facts and events that were quite concerning.

If it had not been for God, I’m not certain where I would be, perhaps a statistic existing I’m disparity. Amid the lingering thoughts and inquisitive moments, I thank God for his many blessings and the perseverance to overcome countless obstacles.

Please know that my story is not a fairy-tale, it is a great testimony that no one other than me can tell….

Standby and you will see how hot this girl on fire can and will be… Thank you God for the fuel that you instilled in me.

By your grace I will do your work faithfully…

Perfectly Imperfect a book inspired by God and all be has done for me…. Due to release Fall/Winter 2015.

Always,
Ms. Darkskinisbeautiful

Excerpt from “Perfectly Imperfect” … a book for healing and empowerment in abuse victims (due to release in Fall 2015)

 Perfectly_Imperfect_Cover_for_Kindlejpg

“I love you and barely even know you,” he whispered. Then how could you love me? I wondered. As clear as the sky was blue, he proved those words to be untruthful with his actions, which contradicted his poetic “love stories.” During countless conversations, he promised not to lie, hurt, or betray me, but once again he lied. Finally, I promised not to give in to his antics again. By giving in, I would only be setting myself up for brokenness, pain, and disappointment. This recurrent trauma, alongside others, began to tear up my expectations of others.

Please be sure to support my upcoming project due to release in the Fall/Winter 2015.

Appreciate Life and be thankful


Over the past few months, my life has been extremely eventful. With the upcoming release of my book “Perfectly Imperfect” underway and having had complete my Masters in Human Services, I can now focus and recommit to my Blog again. This year has been one that has been both spiritually and emotionally enlightening. Thinking back a few weeks ago, I recall an associate of mine sharing that when she first encountered me I seemed to be a dreamer. She placed emphasis on “those people with dreams but slow to take action, if any, to make them things happen”. I had to chuckle because it was playing out to be one of those situations when people assume instead of asking questions…

I told her, to know me would to mean realizing that I am indeed a person that is driven. I shared with her that God planted a seed in me years ago to advocate for and help abuse victims acknowledge and change their situations. As I elaborated on my passion and the root of its existence, I began to get excited (as I commonly do when I discuss helping abuse victims and my experience as a victim).

Surprised by my story, she shared that she would have never thought I would have walked the paths that I had in my past.  I further explained to her that for the several I had spent many nights with little to no rest to focus on completing my Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees, self-publishing my first book, then moving forward to complete a sophomore book for abuse victims, and  laying the platform to advocate for domestic violence victims, all while being a PROUD single mommy.

Thinking about that conversation, I can say it is interesting how life’s lessons unfold. Life has such subtle ways of reeling us back in when we stray away from our central point. Sharing that dialogue with my associate helped me appreciate my many accomplishments and I am always thankful to God and my mother for encouraging me to accomplish my goals and aspirations.  God is good.