My life is a living testimony, and through it, I will make a difference….

If you are a follower of my Blog, you probably have noticed that much of what I share here is centered around spirituality, relationships, parenting, single mothers, and African American women; however know that this is not because I am partial to these things but because I can speak from experience in this regard.  I am a spiritual woman, experienced in the area of good and bad relationships, a single mother and fairly new to parenting, and an African American woman. I have experience both emotional and physical abuse and even through my hardships, I am not a product of my past experiences. I am resilient and ambitious; I am much more than where I have been and more so of where I strive to be. There are many times that I feel like giving up, ducking and dodging the constant struggles that are thrown in my direction and with each trial and tribulation I am faced with, I triumph over tribulation and use them as stepping stones for bigger and better undertakings. It has taken decades for me to discover my passion, overall purpose for being here on the earth; this is an accomplishment that some never achieve.

God has afforded me with opportunities and challenges that have strengthened and educated me. While there have been many successes they also co-existed with struggles. Through life, I encountered many seasons. The seasons of friendships, relationships, love, happiness, brokenness, sadness, and madness. Through it all, I stand strong, stern and in placed prepared and ready to face all that God has for me and my life in the current and future.

I remember 4 years ago, when I learned I was to a mother. A single mother, someone told me “You are going to be a statistic”.  And as I knew then when they said it, I know it more deeply now, that their words were lies. I am not a statistic, I am a walking testimony that through adversities, I have overcome them all and through it, I became impeccably invincible. Unshaken by those who mean me no good, and unbroken by those who speak against my Good will, I am invincible. Because I am a child of God and as long as I believe in him, I am confident and secure in my thinking that I will remain in his favor. In his favor, I cannot go wrong.

Always,

Ms. Darkskinisbeautiful

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Proverbs 18:22 – Lord, I am ready to be a wife…………

Never in my life have I leaned so hard on a verse in the bible as I have on Proverbs 18:22 with regard to my personal life. As a single woman in today’s society, it is very hard to adjust to the dating scene as it is far from what it used to be when I was in my teens and twenties. Now at a point in my life when finding the right person matters, singleness is like solitude in a world where singleness is natural, at least to me it is.  Lord, I am ready to be a wife…
This morning at church Pastor Jordan discussed a conversation he had with a woman who had lost her husband of 30 years four years prior and that she was ready to date again. The woman discussed how the dating scene was different from what she had experienced several decades ago when she met her husband. Further she explained that she was ready for a husband, and Pastor Jordan shared “Proverbs 18:22” with her. Interestingly enough the mention of the verse came when it was absolutely necessary, just as the woman he shared with needed to hear it, so did I.
“Happy is the husband of a good wife;And the number of his days shall be twofold.A brave woman rejoiceth her husband;And he shall fulfil his years in peace. A good wife is a good portion:She shall be given in the portion of such as fear the Lord.”
After waking from my nap today, the verse remained on my mind and I decided to take inventory on my personal characteristics and post them on my Blog. Perhaps if you are a woman in this similar situation, this would be something you might want to consider thinking. I am doing this for a few reasons, one because I would like to see my personal characteristics in writing, two I would like to see where I am lacking and where I should work as I am fair well aware of my imperfections. I want to be ready for my husband when he comes so I can say that the scriptures reference to “me” is indeed a true reflection of who I am. 
    I Am …..
  1. made by God (Gen 2:22)
  2. taken out of man (Gen 2: 23, 1 Cor 11:9)
  3. “beautiful in appearance” (Sarai– Gen 12, Rebekah– Gen 12, Bathsheba–2 Sam 11:2, Tamar– 2 Sam 14:27, 1 Ki 1:3-4)
  4. “skillful” (Exod. 35:25)
  5. “tender” (Deut 28:56)
  6. “delicate” (Deut. 28:56)
  7. “loved” (Jud 16:4)
  8. “worthy” (Ruth 3:14)
  9. not worthless (1 Sam 1:16)
  10. “wise” (2 Sam 14:2, 2 Sam 20:16, Prov 31:26)
  11. “gracious” (Prov 11:16)
  12. precious (Prov 31:10)
  13. trustworthy (Prov 31:11)
  14. interested in doing good for and pleasing her husband (Prov 31:12, Prov 31:23, 1 Cor 7:34)
  15. a willing worker (Prov 31:13, 19)
  16. “strong” (Prov 31:17)
  17. diligent (Prov 31:18-22, Prov 31:27, Luke 15:8)
  18. teacher of kindness (Prov 31:26)
  19. “woman who fears the Lord” (Prov 31:30– worthy of praise)
  20. bearer of a faithful testimony that led many to believe (John 4:39)
  21. “believer” (Acts 16:1)
  22. “submissive” (1 Tim 2:11)

Eyes wide open: The re-awakening of our beautiful black women by Sonya McKinzie

As a black woman in America’s society, we are often under estimated. Our value is frequently decreased by culture. Many of us conform to the depiction that society has created around us. There is negativity in the air; we are misrespresented and stereotyped. We are empowered and strong but we are also submissive, humble, and sensitive. We are underestimated and underappreciated.  We are daughters. We are sisters. We are mothers. We simply are. We are educated. We are intelligent. We are articulate. We simply are.

As a beautiful, dark-skinned black woman, I realize that I have a smart and quick mouth that supports an occasionally rolling neck with hands braced on my hips when I am angered. However I am also the calm, collected woman that has patience when tempers heighten and tease the possibilities of loosing control. And I know how to reel it back in and ease a turbulent situation.  The words that define black women fall into place like the pieces of a magnetic puzzle.  We are explosive when we love. There are no barriers or limitations when we protect those that we care for. We embody the definition that follows the word “Strong”.

There are negative representations of who we are. Referred to as hood-rats, overeducated and overly independent women. Callus and uncaring as a result of the extended longevity we have endured in a space called “singleness”. We are also video vixens, selling ourselves short for a dollar sign. We are simple and lack ambitions with no optimistic point-of-views or aspirations. We sit and wait for the next government check to come. We are professional, fortune five-hundred executives obsessed with climbing the corporate ladder all while neglecting to take care of home; our families are malnourished as we are failing to feed them with our love and presence.

We are driven to make more money just so that we can buy bigger cars, homes, and clothes yet we have no one to share them with. We are single and married to our jobs. There is a void within us, and we fail to accept it. We are control freaks. We don’t need or want to be worried about; we don’t need to be rescued, protected, or provided for. The boogey man doesn’t scare us, hell he is afraid of us.

There is a vague line that separates all of us. While we are different, we are very much the same.  We are black women, strong (regardless to rather it is on the surface or deep underneath), we are beautiful shades of browns; we are powerful, and uniquely designed. We require respect.  We are underappreciated. Our value has been depreciated by our society. We are not products of our society but instead diamonds amid our society that have slowly faded into the background. Stereotypical gestures and phrases do not define who we are, as we are far more than the illusions created by our society.  We are delusional and ambitious. We are beautiful regardless of our environment, circumstance, and we can fall a thousand times and get up and try it again, and again. We are empowered, beautiful b lack women. It is our responsibility to shift society’s point-of-view of who and what we are.

Always,

Ms. Darkskinisbeautiful

Challenged with managing life, work, family, and finding love … in an unbalanced world

Over the past 4 years, it has been quite a challenge finding a balance between work, school, and mothering my very rambunctious daughter. As you can see, there is no mention of having a social life behind the commas in sentence number one. That would be because over the past four years a social life has been near non-existent for me. I have found it to be quite a quandary to have a social life and date with so many open ends dangling across my life’s balance.  It has not always been easy to place my life in order and decide which items were most important and which were not. That would be because like any single woman in their mid to late thirties, there has been a desire for companionship; an unfulfilled desire.

After having my daughter in 2011 and completing my Bachelor’s degree program, I found that life was not as easy as some people made it appear on television. Further education did not always mean more money, peace, and balance. That said, I opted to continue to move forward with getting my Master’s Degree disregarding the fact that there would be many days of stress and nights with little to no sleep due to homework assignments, incomplete work-related issues, and a child that needed me more than any of those other things mentioned above.  

When I think back to 2011-2012, it was around that time that I genuinely realized that God had a special calling for my life. All of the hardships I experienced throughout my 34-35 years of life were not in vain. They held purpose and meaning – in addition to the many days, weeks, months, and years I have spent alone. Do you know what the purpose is?

God called me to do great things. He placed me in different situations, so I could share, minister to women, men, and children who had at some point in life experienced some form or fashion of brokenness through abuse. God allowed me to have a spot inside of me to love, embrace, and relate to others on spiritual and personal levels. I feel the pain when a woman, man, or child communicates what he/ she has been through, I see the pain in her heart, and I hear the sadness that flows between the words he/she speaks.


But even with this blessing to love, embrace, and relate with others, I still have emptiness inside of me.  An emptiness that cannot be filled by just anyone or thing, but by the one God has designed for me.  When I talk to others about their relationships, I wonder exactly when it is that God will allow my path to cross with the one he has created, just for me.  When I lay awake at night, in the emptiness of the dark places, I wonder how much longer I must wait for divine love. And why is it that so many others around me are blessed with it (divine love) and I am not. Considering that I am obedient to God, I am kind to others, and have been patient and prayerfully awaited God to intertwine my path with my mate so that together we can make a difference in our lives and others. While I have been called to great things, it is with my mate, I can do even greater things.

As I stand alone, I know my strengths, weaknesses, and passions. But standing together, with the mate that compliments me, would make two lives even more powerful when united.  Raising a family together as a unit, loving beyond measure, bonded so tightly that even the end of the world couldn’t break us, and making differences and changes in this world that are often only what dreams are made of. Unite. Together. Paths combined into one journey, is what I anticipate and desire in this life and the one that will follow…

Always,

Ms. Darkskinisbeautiful

The reawakening by Sonya McKinzie

A simple glance

Engulfs me in your trance

Once dead, broken, and lifeless

My heart relives

Revived by love

The reawakening

Of love

self-love

Love

Love

Inside, deep inside

My heart ticks

Again

The humblest things you do

Makes me feel complete and anew

Your love sends fire through my veins

Reawakening the deepest spaces inside

Traveling to areas where brokenness once resided

You loved me

Pass my pain

Through the devastation

And over the hills of desperation

Reawakening

The desire in me

To love

Feel and be touched again

Reawakening

Copyright © 2015 by Sonya McKinzie.  All rights reserved. This poem or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review

Be patient with me by Sonya McKinzie

I need to remember this

Sometimes I feel inadequate

For years my heart has gone untouched

My spirit has been unsettled

Incapable of love

Apprehensive

About allowing my heart to love

Be patient with me

Walls

Barriers

Separate you from my heart

And possibilities

For years my heart has gone untouched

Time

Life

Has made me apprehensive

Inadequate

Inadequately

Unsure if the walls and barriers will break down

And let love inside again

Be patient with me

Copyright © 2015 by Sonya McKinzie.  All rights reserved. This poem or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review

Perfectly Imperfect: Moving Above and Beyond the Pain will be released in the Fall

As you all (my followers) know, I have been working on my second book and it seems that it has taken forever to reach this point.

After several proofs, I have finally selected the book cover for my book. Please feel free to share your thoughts here. I will also let you know when it is available for purchase on Amazon.com and on Kindle.Be sure to show your support. A percentage of the proceeds will be donated to one of the battered women shelters in my hometown, Brunswick, Ga.

Featured image

Always,

Ms. Darkskinisbeautiful