I am not afraid



As of late, I have learned that by surrounding myself with different people I have a better opportunity of learning different things as well as embracing diversity with regard to my discernment about life overall. With that being said, my circle of friends is small. And the ones that I call friends are people who uplift and urge me to go harder and higher in life. These people are my earth angels and they make me smile and laugh when I want to cry and urge me to be silly and laugh at myself.

Unlike negative people, they do not drain me but instead they energize, invigorate, and motivate me to do bigger and better things in every capacity in life. Through them, I am stimulated to grow spiritually, emotionally, personally and professionally. It is through my small circle of earth angels that I am enlightened, involved and empowered to be who I am without regret. They are idealists, doers, movers, shakers, makers, givers, and dreamers. Through them I see them I am fearless and courageous, fierce and untamed through them I am powerful and openly zealous. It is through them, I am inspired to be who I am, and who I am is an amazingly, spiritually powerful woman of God.

Thank you is in order and my gratitude is humbly communicated to those in my circle and you know who you are.

Happy Labor Day and be safe all.


Ms. Darkskinisbeautiful a/k/a Sonya McKinzie


Have you addressed your emotional mess?


There are so many cases where people who have become slaves to their past point the finger at their past for their actions in their present. Often allowing circumstances to consume their lives and drain them of happiness people build their own prisons, lock themselves in, and then throw away keys. Today, I was speaking with an old childhood friend and as we were strolling down memory lane, we began to discuss the mistakes we made in our adolescent stage in life with one another. What seemed to be a stroll of laughter down memory lane slowly spiraled into hurt feelings. We didn’t realize that we were digging up past hurts; ones that we didn’t know were still buried inside of us. This is an example of “becoming a slave to your past”. It is not atypical to not know when you have some deep down mess in your chest. It takes going deep down inside to pull it up and out. After it was all said it done, I appreciated the conversation and it gave us the ability to face our hurts from the past and move forward.

Have you addressed your mess? It is time to do an overhaul and get rid of some of that baggage.


Ms. Darkskinisbeautiful

What grows in your garden?

We are different. We are the same. We are familiar. We are unfamiliar. We are diversity at its best.

Pain is in our gardens. Pain is a component of growth, living, and dying. Sometimes life closes and opens doors during different seasons in our lives. As a result, we go through changes and change is always good. When times are tough and seem unbearable, that is God’s way of pulling our attention to area of life. It is his way of encouraging us to sow a new supply of seeds in our gardens so that we can bear fresh fruit. In these times, we might experience struggles followed by trials and tribulations and as a result, we might think we are failing; however it is just the opposite. We are striving to succeed and grow personally, spiritually, emotionally and mentally. Treasured triumph is born from struggle which results in appreciation of all that God has made; gratitude and thanks to God is required whether we are going through good or bad times. What grows in our gardens is determined by what seeds we sow and how we water and nurture their growth.

In life, everything is temporary. Nothing is permanent. When the sun rises it is inevitable that at the end of the day it will go down. When there is darkness, lightness will later follow. When the wind blows, it stops. When the rain falls, it later dries up. Just as if things are good today, it is possible you will endure hardships tomorrow. Life is imperfect.

As with weeds in a garden, we must clear our lives of the junk that can kill our spirituality and joy. When we allow poison in our lives, we are setting ourselves up for a slow death. By poison, I mean negative people and things that bring the shadows where ever they go. Cut the weeds from your garden to progress. Water the seeds so that they can grow.

When we struggle, we are experiencing growth. We are stepping forward in life or backsliding momentarily. When we back slide, it is so that we can open our eyes and see our path clearly. Then once we find our direction in life, we should get up and move forward. Climb up the steep hill and look upward.

What grows in your garden?


Ms. Darkskinisbeautiful

God’s Direction and Guidance


Today, I said a prayer as with every other day however today, I also meditated on my open issues and then tried to turn it over to God but my worries rushed in and took it back. My lack of faith today has laid a road block in my path and due to that speed bump, my worries will not rest.

I am prayerful that I can give my cares over to God so that he can work it out. I am faithful that I will lay them at his feet and leave them there and that after a decision has been made it will be the most authentic and right based on that small voice deep inside of me. The voice that many are unable to hear, but those that fear God hear clearly.

God I thank you in advance for your answer and guidance as I know your direction is the right way you would have me to go – Amen

Sonya –

Communication and Brokenness


While I am not a man and I certainly cannot relate with his “He-Motions” I have found that like women, they hurt too. However there is a difference between the way they express themselves and communicate those issues which makes our jobs as mothers, companions, daughters, sisters, and friends to them difficult. Communication between women and men requires creativity, sensitivity, a strong heart, mind, body and soul for obvious reasons, we are emotionally wired differently. We receive and process things extremely different. Men are perceived as “Strong Protectors” and we (women) are considered to be the emotional beings that are supposed to stand by their sides. Where there is brokenness, there are broken lines of communication.

Unlike women, men tend to be less vocal and therefore tend to harbor and hide more secrets. Thinking about a friend that is close and dear to me, I remember him sharing the hardships he endured as a child and I wonder “How did he make it through”. Recalling all of our misunderstandings and arguments over senseless things has come in to clearer view. I now understand why he seemed to always be so angry, agitated and scattered; he was going through a period of brokenness and he didn’t know how to share those things with me.

Today, I wish that I had looked a little deeper so that I could have made things a little less worrisome for him. Now that I have learned some of the characteristics and signs of a broken man, I will be more cognoscente of what to expect and how to address it.

As counseling major, I find that I am more aware of things that I didn’t typically acknowledge before pursing human services. It has become natural for me to want to fix things with others. I suppose these attributes have always been here, but more so these past years. The purpose of this blog is to share that communication between a woman and man takes creativity, an open ear, open heart and a clear mind. Brokenness falls two ways towards a woman and towards a man, and they are addressed differently.

When you are dealing with a broken person, consider the approach and how to address the situation most effectively. Starting with God and knowing he is on your side.


Ms. Darkskinisbeautiful