Happy New Year: I appreciate you!

Today is New Year’s Eve and I wanted to take the time to wish all of my  family, friends, visitors, followers a Happy New Year.

Please be safe and keep God in everything you do!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11

Always,

Ms. Darkskinisbeautiful

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Waiting for the Angels to come

 
 
She is waiting for the Angels to come
There is a lady that I know that believes in Angels
At night she wanders to the river and waits for them
When she waits and they do not appear
She ask God to send them there, by the river
She turns the pages of her Bible,
The book of Psalms and finds consolation in Psalm 9:9,
The words speak to her
Comforts her as she waits for the Angels to come
She is filled with disenchantment and anxiety
Because they did not come, when she wanted them to,
Silent she sits and whimper
Embracing herself
Feeling unlike herself
Filled  with hopelessness and pain,
She reads the Bible,
Her restless heart is then eased by the passage Psalm 94:19,
The passage says “when anxiety was great within me,
your consolation brought me joy”
 
She waits
She waits for the angels to come
To rescue her from the pain
That lies beneath her flesh
To take her to Heaven
Where God awaits her entrance
Where she can rest
The pure white aisles lie before her
And she will walk, not be carried to
Sit and feast on milk and honey at his feet
 
 
Her invitation to sing in the choir amidst the most virtuous Angels
Will be presented to her upon her entrance
She will join in and sing a song of serenity that will ring out through the clouds
And rest along the borderline of his throne
 
Her mind and heart has been put to ease
By reading the words in her Bible,
Her restless heart is eased by passage Psalm 94:19,
The passage says “when anxiety was great within me,
your consolation brought me joy”
God’s words reassure her that the angels will come when
He is waiting and not in her time
His time is always right and with her faith in him
She will never go wrong

Is that God speaking to me or is that my Anxious Heart speaking?

Being someone who has an inclination to worry and stress over things that are completely out of my control, I am putting forth “effort” to adjust those bad spirits in 2014. And I would like to think that the process has already started when I posted my first “BLOG” here on October 1, 2013. This blog has been an absolute gift from God. It has been a tool for me to share what I am going through on a daily basis, encourage others, and talk about those that are near and dear to me and so much more. This has been an Open Diary to My Soul that has assisted me with sharing my good and bad moments with others, and allowed me share my personal challenges while helping others through their trials and tribulations. Since the first time I posted here, I have consistently said that I am no professional at this but I have learned that ‘some’ growth came from sharing and that alone is better than no growth at all. One of my efforts is to work and improve my lack of patience when it comes to waiting on God to change things in my life. I hope that you do not mind if I share my silent prayer with you and I hope that it will somehow help you in any issue you are experiencing in your life.

Heavenly Father,

Please continue to guide and strengthen me in spiritual walk. Help me to come to you and know that when I lay my burdens before you at the altar you will take them and carry them for me.

Dear God, help me to understand that “Your Time” is not the same as “My Time” and you will move when you see fit to make change in my life for whatever reason. Please know that sometimes my heart gets anxious and I do not allow you to do you will due to my impatience, but God please work with me so that I can be obedient to you and your word. There are times, more often than not that I want things to happen immediately and this is when I should be strong and “waits” because your time is right and just. Give me understanding beyond the moment and help me to hear your voice so I will know when you are speaking to me versus my mind or heart. Thank you dear God and I will place genuine “effort” in to be diligent and patient, so that I can be obedient to you, always your child.

Thank you for sharing my prayer with me and please keep me in your prayers and be safe! With all that I am –

Always,

Sonya (aka Ms. Darkskinisbeautiful)

Let’s Design — an invitation to a black woman’s intimate thoughts

Daily Journeys - Women of Virtue

Let’s Design
By:  Darkskinisbeautiful

Let me design an entrance to paradise for you
An entrance way that takes you down hills
Over mountains
Between valleys
Beyond a red sea
Closing in the space between you and me

Let me custom design a part for you to play
You are designed

Perfectly designed in my mind
In your role, you are my love interest
There is no interest from the start
By the end of scene #3 we are all entwined
United and bound
Body to body
Soul to soul
Drifting through deep blue waters
Rushing down the edge of waterfalls and swept up into the deepest sea

Impressing you
Peaking your mind
Taking you into the realism of sensuality
Passing through the gateway of sexuality
Tumbling into the ocean of passion beyond the desire-filled misty sea

Designed to be with you
Thinking of the pleasures
Feeling your words slice through…

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Power

Power
By: Sonya McKinzie

Nothing outside of the power of God can slow me down,
My endeavors
My aspirations
My goals
My wants
My needs
My destiny
Is within my Power
And it rains down on me

No one human
Man
Or woman
Can slow me down
Can deter me
Press me under the sea
Crabs in a basket
That’s not me
Power shines through my veins radiantly

Nothing outside of the power of God can slow me down
My challenges
My dreams
My hopes
My desires
My creations
My life is designed by me
The direction of my life
is designed by my choices
Which is within my power
And I rain
Powerfully
Revealing the powerful woman in me

Always,

Ms. Darkskinisbeautiful

Reflecting on 2013 and preparing for 2014 and beyond….

As my daughter and I made our 5 1/2 hour drive to my mother’s house in South Georgia, I felt the blossoming of excitement in my heart. Periodically I would look over my shoulder at her as she slept or played and I thought about the turn of events that transpired this year. The many trials between the later part of 2012 and October 2013, bickering over paternity and visitation. You know the typical trials and tribulations that single parents experience when they cannot come to agreement over the needs of their children.

In my heart, I knew that all the hardships endured this past year happened for a reason. The outcome was one that would be a part of my testimony later in life, so I have no regrets. However, I will be first to say that this year would have been my first time away from 2 1/2-year-old during the holiday season and as God would have it, that was an experience I did not have to endure, this year because of a choice that her father made not to take advantage of his visitation rights at Christmas. That was a silent blessing because God knew that I was not ready for not being with her this Christmas Day.

There has been an abundance of trials and tribulations in my life period. My peace was affected by the rain of doubt and depression. My friends were few and my faith in God was minimized by the turn of events. Questioning my purpose for life, why I had experienced so many hardships and if the turbulent road would wind down and end.

Reflecting on 2013 brings moments of sadness and gladness. Overall God has blessed me with love and means to care for me and my child with minimal worries. 2014 will start with some continued turbulence personally but essentially I know that will make way to a better year for me.

Reflecting, reflecting and reflecting on my family, career, house, success and I have chosen not to make New Year’s Resolutions but instead, make efforts to change in my future for next year and beyond….

Always,

Ms. Darkskinisbeautiful

Relational Indecisiveness: Simply Indecisive

It is funny how we point the finger at others not realizing that there is a finger-pointing right back at us. I had a revelation today and what was that revelation?Iam utterly and thoroughly INDECISIVE!!

I am at a crossroad in my life where I want to be in a healthy, spiritual and loving relationship; however it seems that those needs and feelings change from day-to-day, if that makes sense.  There are moments, when I sit and think over my loneliness and pray to God for a resolution. That said I know in my heart and soul that God will send my companion to me when he feels that “We” are both ready for unity. Needless to say, that does not take away my intense want to be a unit with my soul’s mate now.

Often I am asked, how can you make time for a man in your life when you have a toddler, full-time job and attend online classes for a Master’s Degree and I can only say…when it is time it will work itself all out; but that doesn’t stop me from pondering where my divine mate will fall in my life. And question how can I make him fit in a world that is so full. Then indecisiveness enters stage left — I suppose this is where God confirms my lack of readiness for a relationship. 

In speaking with a friend of mine today, he pointed out to me how indecisive I can be. One day, I will say I want to give my heart to the one destined for me and in the same conversation, I express reluctance to humble myself and let go of the “Over Independent Woman” demeanor.  Now that sounds like a clash of the “Heart and Soul” doesn’t it?

I cannot count the times that I sit and think to myself “What the heck do you want” and “when will you be 100% ready for it” when it comes? I question “Is it me”? “Why am I alone”? The only answer that I can come up with is “When God says so and allows it”.

I can only assume that I am indecisive about relationships because I am not yet ready spiritually, emotionally, personally and intimately.  I am here questioning so many things…. Am I too cautious, am I silencing the signs and voice of God, am I ill-prepared for a relationship, does love reside in me …. the questions go on and on….

I have determined that I am thoroughly flawed, completely indecisive and thoroughly imperfect…

How about you? Where are you in your life with regard to relationships?

Always,

Ms. Darkskinisbeautiful