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Lately, I have found myself feeling sensitive, teary and emotional over nearly any and everything! I am such a Teary Terry now -a-days. An emotional bundle of emotions (laughs).

I wonder if the average 38 year old woman experiences such emotional flare-ups and break-downs or am I abnormal? I mean really? I tear up over something as simple as looking into my child’s eyes. You ask, what is the reason? Because I was told I might never be able to conceive. And at the age of 35, I made a liar out of the doctors and their technology; I conceived my beautiful angel and birthed her without issue. Her deep brown eyes break me down each and every time we sit silently marveling over one another.  She looks at me as if she is IN LOVE with me and her watery eyes tells a story over and over again, that she is here because of my faith in God. Some of you might be tired of hearing about my love for my child, but all that I am stems from her existence. She is a miracle to say the least, an accomplishment above all others.

A few days ago, someone held me tight in their arms before going on our own ways and I didn’t want to let go; I wanted to be held a little longer. Sometimes, you just need a hug, your hand to be held, a shoulder to lie on, or an ear to hear your cry. On that particular day, I think I needed all of the above. I didn’t share that with the person that held me after all I didn’t want to appear needy.

The truth of the matter is I need my support system near. I miss my family, I miss my mom’s shoulder and while her voice comforts me daily by telephone, it isn’t the same as having her physically near me.

Cloudy with a chance of tears…

Yes, I have had that weather broadcast for a few months now. Crying in silence many nights while I watch my daughter sleeping; and while the physical tears do not always show their watery faces, they are undeniably present. It is a sadness, that shows its face on occasions and when it visits me, it stays for an extended amount of time. I try to be open, and in good spirits at all times for my daughter and others, but sometimes, it doesn’t always work out that way.

Cloudy with a chance of tears….

My emotional weather channel predicts that today will be cloudy with a chance of tears. No sunshine until several hours of crying internally and externally. You know after the cleansing begins and ends. I wondered if I were going through the change and so I asked my doctor, she laughed and said “No”. I think you are just tired and that is to be expected, you have much going on.  You know the doctor jargon, the wauu-wauu-waauuu-wauu…. That kind of fades in the background with the elevator music.

Cloudy with a chance of tears…

There is a void in my life and it comes in to clear view, late at night, during the day when there is complete silence and randomly through the day—

Do you have a void? What do you do when you are feeling down, when your weather broadcast is “Cloudy with a chance of tears”?

 

Always,

Ms. Darkskinisbeautiful

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