Sometimes I wonder why it is that I don’t have a large circle of friends. There are women who have an extensive support system, friends that they spend time shopping, socializing, having coffee, and just venting to. I often wonder if it is because I am so particular, private, and hard to get close to. The circle of friends I have is small and each one of them are genuine. We do not talk everyday, but when we do, its like we never skipped a beat.
I consider myself to be friend-worthy, trusting, honest, kind and loyal. These are the same characteristics that I want in women I call “True Friends”. You know the ones that are there no matter the time or day, what is going on in their lives and for whatever reason. For some odd reason, I have had a hard time forming strong lasting friendships with other women.
I read a Blog titled “8 Friends Women Need” at http://www.prevention.com/sex/sex-relationships/8-friends-every-woman-needs.
- 1. A childhood friend
- 2. A new friend
- 3. A workout friend
- 4. A spiritual friend
- 5. A younger friend
- 6. Your partner’s friends
- 7. Your mom
- 8. Yourself
I have 4 out of the 8: A childhood friend, younger friend, my mom and myself. In reviewing the “8 Friends Women Need” list, it suggests that women should have these eight different friends and I could understand why this would be true. You can relate to all these women on some level and it makes sense.
Through life, I have found that cattiness, pettiness and female rivalry are the major culprits of dying friendships. However it is a very tasking thing to do, get and keep healthy female relationships. I have heard far too many times, men are easier to be friends with than women. I often think about if women were more like men, we would have a disagreement, make up and go have a beer (or in our case a glass of wine). But being the complex species that we are, it is rarely that simple.
One of the things we as women should do is focus on the issue, talk through it and move beyond it. I cannot tell you how many friendships I have lost in my younger years due to pettiness. I often think about the regrets and the lost of friendships I have had due to these minor issues.
I have to speak on two women that are dear to me. About a year ago their friendship fell apart after being true and dear friends for about 15 years or longer. One was none the wiser of why it ended and the other refused to share the reasons why. After about a year, one of them fell terminally ill. It was through this challenge in both of their lives that they reconnected. Through this trial, their love for one another is stronger than it ever was… it was lack of communication that could have devastated their relationship. Now imagine how the one friend would have felt if she had not had the opportunity to tell the other good-bye. The beauty of real, genuine friendships is priceless. God shines on true friendships and with love and care, they weather any storm endured.
Women, I challenge you to put the cattiness aside and reach out and make a new woman friend today; or rebuild one that has fallen apart.